Full service self service

I've written about the self service dynamics of the web. How the internet simply enables a growing 'want' for control, etc. But this morning I was reminded just how prevalent that standard is becoming--offline too.

Re: I walked into a convenience grocer to grab some food for my train commute. As I was putting the change in my wallet the guy behind the counter reached down for the usual plastic bag, to carry it in. But I was slightly stunned when he simply handed the bag 'at me' as he was turning away, chatting it up with a coworker. I thought, "Wow, nice thank you for my hard earned dollars/trade..." But then it hit me that perhaps this standard has become pervasive and companies are no longer training their employees about customer service, or they don't care, or they simply assume customers want to do everything themselves.

For instance, we do have a lot of restaurant chains where you order in line, wait for your food, then are expected to clean up after yourself. We are pretty accustomed to picking up our hotel rooms or even making the beds to adhere to 'green policies', etc.

But I am personally appalled by the growing lack of respect given to customers (me specifically). Like airline employees are now bossy and rude--more there to tell you what to do than attend to you. Store clerks act as if they're doing you a favor by helping you find an item. Bank tellers literally tell you that  you should use their site more. You dare not return food in fear it will be spat on. On and on.

What happened?

As a kid I worked at a pizza joint and I was told the customer was always right. To make it right if they had a complaint. I was taught to be polite and say thank you after every transaction. And later in life I learned that clients valued being spoken to respectfully. So what's up with this new indifference? Rudeness? Especially when the economy is teetering? 

Perhaps companies could find a competitive advantage by being nice. What a concept, eh?

A few more illustrations:

I went to a motorcycle dealer to buy a new helmet. The woman at the store spent the entire time with me telling me how she refused to wear one. I literally had to ask her to go get me the size I wanted. Then I had to wait at the counter for her to finish her conversation with another worker and acknowledge I was ready to check out.

I was in the Denver airport Friday evening and found a pizza place open. While in line I noticed a worker taking all the remaining pizza off the pans and putting it into containers. When the guy in front of me said, "I want that one (pointing to the pizza right out of the oven), that same worker said, "No, that's mine too..." I realized he and the others were cleaning up by taking all the pizza home for themselves--all while I an about 7 others watched in disbelief.

I ordered some shoes online. The order went through and about ten minutes later I got an email telling me it was cancelled--on backorder. So I went back to the site and ordered a different pair. Same thing. So I emailed their customer service asking if three other pairs I might want were in stock--to avoid another order. I received a curt response telling me they didn't know--as they order from the factory as orders come in. Didn't know? Yet all on their site as if in stock? He didn't even bother checking the SKU's of the three I listed in the email. Wow.

So, little surprise how everyone rants and raves about the Zappo's model. And how they're willing to pay higher prices at Z's because of the service. That's what it's come to...pay extra to get what you deserve. Maybe the airlines could make more money by paying for a button you can wear that says, "I paid for you to be nice to me today." A better strategy than charging for bags, these days.

What stories do you have to share? Perhaps we can 'ask' companies to treat us better...

Posted via email from Stephen Speaks's posterous

Can I get an addiction please?

I was talking with a friend today and we ended up discussing Tiger Woods and Jesse James. Not for their respective reasons for fame but their recent claims to fame--sex addiction. That led us to talking about the real issue--total a-holes who just won't take responsibility for being a-holes. It's way easier to blame an 'addiction'. Tiger claimed he was just taken over by the consuming desire to, you know... Hey, I'm a guy. I sort of know what it's like to see a hot babe, but guess what...I've never chased one (since being married).

Okay, so I don't have a sex addiction I guess. Maybe I just don't understand just how difficult it is for a rich, famous, have-it-all celebrity to keep his pants on. But my suspicion Tiger's just an a-hole. And I suspect he and Jesse find it easier to sleep at night feeling like they're duping the world into feeling some sympathy for them--because they have an addiction. Or by telling themselves they have an excuse for the abhorrent behavior and clear lack of respect for their wives. And that they can be presumably seen as much a victim as people who really do suffer from addictions--drugs, alcohol, and real sex addiction. Shame on them.

So, while on the train of thought--shifting responsibility for a scapegoat--I was considering what addictions I'd like to use to deflect some responsibilities. What about a couch addiction? That'd be a great excuse for not going to work. I could tell everyone just how every waking thought is consumed by the lust for laying on my couch watching Tivo'd episodes of Pawn Stars. Eating popcorn is a symptom. Not showering is part of bottoming out. Nice...

Or maybe a motorcycle addiction. I could avoid all my family responsibilities by being diagnosed with an addiction to the winding roads of the country. "They keep calling me!" Tiny voices in my head that make me hit the road when I know I should be going to bring the bacon home. It's terrible--that craving for the excuse to wear leather and all...

Seriously, what about something more dire? Like a bizarre dog addiction. Ooh, sounds creepy and like it must have a deep psychological cause. The constant want to walk my dogs, play with them, feed them, take them to the vet, on and on. Or just petting them...and petting them. That's disturbing isn't it?

I like this idea. Instead of 'manning up' and taking responsibility for my actions, or being an a-hole, I can just pick some thing out and claim to be addicted to it and blame it for all my misdeeds. Easy enough.

Only thing is, I can't in good conscious act as if any of them compare to the true suffering addicts endure when oppressed by really dark obsessions, many of them physical. Same reason I can't see why Tiger and Jesse feel so comfortable making a joke of the people who really are addicted, and need help, by pretending to be as dependent.

I think their only real addictions are self delusion and lack of moral character.

Posted via email from Stephen Speaks's posterous

Advice to brands: Don't Grow Up!

I recently had customer service experiences with 2 small brands. In each, it was the owner who responded to my inquiry. What I enjoyed most, besides the simple contact with the entrepreneurs, was the transparency, genuineness, and believability of the responses. Each took the time to really understand my issue and respond meaningfully. I didn't get 'pat' scripted answers or defensive lashings, I got polite and actionable responses. As a result, I have adopted both brands into my sphere of trust. Kudos.

Now, in contrast, I have experienced many larger brand responses that did the exact opposite. It seems that as brands grow they sometimes adopt attitudes, processes, canned scripts, defensiveness, etc. They often start acting like they're doing the customer a favor as opposed to earning the customer's loyalty.

It's a simple lesson. Grow but don't grow arrogant or complacent. Every single brand interaction has the potential of resonating far beyond that single point of contact. Do it wrong and averages say about 10 other prospects will hear about it. That's negative resonance. Unfortunately when brands do it right fewer hear about it--the nature of our culture. But it shows that a little can go a long way--in both directions. Do it right and you gain a friend, perhaps for life. Do it wrong and you become famous for the wrong reasons.

Btw, those two brands who are on my list of favorites now: 

1) Rusty's Hawaiian Coffee http://rustyshawaiian.com/  Lorie, the owner, sent me the coffee and did all the service via email. She even went so far to ask 2 other experts how to brew her coffee in a Chemex (since that's what I use). Rusty's has the price-of-entry product (the Bourbon varietal is to die for!), but goes far beyond delivery. Rusty's keeps it one-to-one and shares its enthusiasm for their product's use, and value to me. Love 'em!

2) Cigarplace http://www.cigarplace.biz  Julian responded to me about an issue fairly unrelated to any order. I made a comment regarding an email blast and he took time to explain why he was featuring this certain brand I didn't like. He could have easily discounted my feedback as some disgruntled quack but instead wrote me a polite note and urged me to keep writing--that he valued the input. Wow. I have ordered from these folks before and now will do so again. 

My advice to both of these brands: As you get famous (they are/will), don't grow up and become prima donna brands. Stay innocent and honest and concerned. Stay in touch with customers and build relationships. Sales will come, naturally.

Posted via email from Stephen Speaks's posterous

10 reasons why I am quitting my job today.

1) 9-5 no longer works for me. I find my most productive times are from 6 am to 9 am and then from 7 pm to around 10 pm. Yet management seems obsessed with appearances in the office, still. With all the connectedness I have access to, and with my peers located all over the world, I can't be confined to getting real work done AND being glued to a chair to meet outdated expectations. Plus, where's the measurement for all the work I do 24/7--via texting, the phone, Facebook, my blog, on and on? I just can't be successful within old paradigms.

2) I seem to get paid to travel yet the expectations are for productivity. I can no longer accept the idea that I need to produce deliverables while spending most of my time at airports, on planes and trains, in hotels and various places of transit. Something has to give. My productivity is limited by the expectations that I need to commute all over the country--to 'work'. If the perception is that my merit and value is in thought leadership, affecting change throughout the organization, weighing in on matters of corporate importance, etc. And yet my true activity is tied to being in multiple places for meetings. I can't be successful that way any longer.

3) I can no longer know everything, all the time. And then be expected to write about it, spread my knowledge, and influence momentum for my company and my clients. I can barely keep up with all the change--even when immersed all day, all hours, all the time. Change happens so fast in this business, and world in general, that I am simply overwhelmed--like most--and cannot meet the expectations of being in the know about every innovation and happening. I can't read all the blogs I subscribe to, read all the Tweets of influencer's, read every WSJ article, listen to every podcast, keep up with YouTube, know the daily fad...whew. It's just too much for any one person--especially me.

4) The lines are too blurred these days when it comes to role. I am, by title, an Executive Creative Director, and yet I am expected to provide strategic direction, inspiration, technical expertise, marketing insight, statistics on ROI, know all the trends, be up on the latest research, know why Foursquare is of value, spur utilization in my department, increase collaboration across disciplines, show progress to a board, run interdisciplinary councils, write, speak, judge, work on corporate mission...oh, and still focus on innovative ideation. I can barely focus on any on thing let alone cover all the increasing areas of contribution.

5) I hate the term EBITDA. Or is is EBIDTA? See, I can't even get that right. And largely because I really don't want to be a financial guru. The word utilization is like scraping fingernails on a chalkboard, to me. I don't like revenue calls. Or spreadsheets with pipeline forecasts, billable trends, and such. I cringe when I get an email demanding I have my merit evaluations in by EOW. When did I even start talking in these terms? My art school never had a course in stretch goals, KPI's, metrics, attribution models, leverage models, and all the other terms I choose to refrain from using. I got into this business to build brands...not massage excel documents.

6) Interactive still doesn't 'get' what we are really in business to do--and that's marketing. Building brands. Moving brands forward. Providing value to consumers. Serving customers on behalf of our client's brands. And management has forgotten that if and when you do that, and well, the company reaps profits--because clients will seek us out and beg us to do it for them. When they succeed we succeed and multiply. This isn't about technology, or selling services, or designing widgets, or making Flash experiences, or focusing on hourlies, it's about gaining mindshare for brands and delivering value for their customers. I don't want to be in the business of business--I want to move brands forward via valuable, branded interactions.

7) I hate what the acronym BS stands for now. I began my career assuming it stood for BrainStorming. Now, far too often, ideation is more around climbing the ladder, or maneuvering for fame, than it is creating ideas that matter. Again, the naive me always believed that great thinking and even better execution would take care of all things relating to profit, and gain. I miss the days when innocent, idealistic, altruistic creative's got in a room and fantasized about the what-if's that could change the world. And we got paid to do that. Now it seems like we begin sessions with project plans, hours we can spend, do's and don'ts with the client. I am tired of concentrating on practicing presentations when I should be focused 100% on an idea that will make them famous.

8) I HATE that we now talk in terms like 'social strategy', Facebook tactics, Twitter campaigns, viral attempts, iPad POV's, yada yada yada. Whatever happened to the simplicity of, "What's the big frickin idea?" Why do we now talk in terms of channels, even fads, or hot trends, when we should be talking in terms of 'ownable position' and strategic idea? 'Nuff said...

9) I am sooo tired of 'calls'. We get 5-10 people on a call and everyone pontificates, argues, talk semantics, throw words around like 'synergy' and 'action items' and 'next call...'. I spend so much of my time on calls. I get to wear a nice little headset and sound intelligent and defer action items to others who made the mistake of missing the call. I have to listen to people I've never seen produce anything tell me what a deliverable should look like, contain, do, and so on. I have to be real polite and listen to everyone's ideas so my performance review wills state that I am collaborative...a team player...inclusive. When I first started in this biz my CD's were jerks who said it was their way or the highway and they acted like prima donnas, cussed, spit, offended, all in the name of brilliant work. Because that was ALL that mattered. I would be fired if I were to scream and throw my pencil at the wall while on a call and have people believe I was doing it from passion for excellence. So, I guess if I am to be fired for that I might as well quit now.

10) April Fools. I love my job! But not for any of the reasons above. I love it because I get to work with smart people and I can still entrtain the notion of changing the world, and company, in which I live--to do better work. To do things that matter and are good for others. To leave the world a better place. Call me naive but I still believe.

Posted via email from Stephen Speaks's posterous