The Anti-social socialites

The Antisocial Socialites.

 

Walk into any city coffee shop and you’ll see individuals planted in every nook and cranny, faces glued to their laptop, phone, iPad or other. If you walk by casually and steal a glance over shoulders you’ll find the majority are perusing their Facebook, IM’ing, texting, gaming, or checking email—socializing online. Then stop and listen…hardly a sound other than the background noise of barista's barking “Venti non-fat, no foam, no water 6 pump extra hot chai tea latte”.

 

It’s eerily quiet, otherwise, as folks are busy 'socializing' but not talking.

 

Now, go to a small town coffee shop and you’ll be struck by the distinct difference of people gathered in small groups around worn-out tables chatting away to the point it’s difficult to shout your order of “coffee, large.”

 

I’ve been struck by this noticeable difference since relocating to a smaller town but still doing most of my work in the major cities. It’s been enlightening to see the differences between the connected worlds of folks communicating across the world while others only talk across a table.

 

Which leads me to this observation: as society becomes more connected are we actually withdrawing into personal shells and in essence becoming more and more antisocial, while claiming to be more social?

 

It’s an interesting paradox. And somewhat comical when you think about it—the changing of social behavior to wanting to be connected to people but not necessarily be with people. The phenomenon of a greater rate of communication, virtually, while ignoring the age-old patterns of strangers gathering to discuss all things in common, based on local geography, is a defining societal shift. Great debates about politics, religion, social issues, and more have always found a stage in the local hangouts—the public square (bars, coffee shops, the donut shop...). It’s how things got done, how minds were changed, and how society progressed.

 

Now the debate is more polarized by the ability to post articles, place one-way opinions, and spout off with no real dialogue. It’s a lot easier to state an opinion when you can just post a link to an article vs. really understanding the subject and being able to discuss against varied perspectives.

 

Perhaps I digress.

 

I’m just finding it interesting to watch how so-called social spaces are really nothing more than tiny portholes of 30-some character blurts—a veneer of dialogue—a security fence from getting too deep into another’s mind and real personality let alone an informed opinion. Many are ‘socializing’ without ever actually speaking to one another and discussing anything.

 

Next time you’re at any coffee shop, try pulling a chair up next to a complete stranger and see what an actual conversation feels like. You might want to leave the device put away.

Posted via email from Stephen Speaks's posterous